August 6, 2020 

My single and video release is now only a few weeks away (mid August). And I’m feeling unusually calm about sharing it with everyone- I’m even looking forward to it! I think although I’ve always strived to write the most authentic and honest material that I could, this is another level. Knowing that I’ve been in the driver’s seat through every stage of this creation process and collaborating only with people that I felt a strong creative connection with, it feels like now extending this excitement to a wider audience is smooth and effortless. 

I think especially for me as an empath, for most of my life I had cut myself off from my true feelings, always seeking approval from others, without even realizing that that’s what I was doing. Over the years, as I’ve started to feel my feelings more, it has become easier to make decisions that were more in alignment with my own creative excitement. And not only is it more fun, it seems to be flowing much easier! 

I can feel my energy moving forward with these projects now instead of subconsciously pulling back, and it’s really exciting! 

Stay tuned for more announcements about the video release, my album release, and for more things to come in the remainder of 2020!

July 18, 2020 

This past week, I filmed the video for The Place Beyond! This is only the second professional video I’ve ever done, and this process of seeing my song come to life has been so enriching for me. Although I’ve been writing songs for over a decade, it’s just in the past year- especially in the past 6 months- that I feel like I’m really ready to show up and be present as the musician and artist and person I’ve always wanted to be. 

The abstract colors and stars and clouds in the video are images that speak to my soul. I’ve always felt like I was a little weird and out of the box, but I’m finally starting to see that the more I embrace that part of myself and don’t try to change it, the more it flows and takes on a life of its own. This is the first group of songs I’ve written where I can say that I genuinely don’t care what people think or how it is received. I got to a place emotionally where I was finally raw and real enough to let my guard down and just say what I had to say. No filters, no worrying about how it will look. 

And this video I feel perfectly captures the vague abstractness that I love. I feel like I am able to bring that down and ground it in myself and in reality. And it was so fun!! Somewhere on my way to becoming “a real musician,” I forgot that the primary goal of all fo this is to have fun. And that that in itself is meaning enough. Hopefully that shows. 

This is also the first album that I’ve produced and mixed by myself. I’ve always had a producer brain and have been involved with it to some degree, but in the past I doubted myself and just assumed that other people knew better than me- although I must say, I have learned a tremendous amount through taking classes and working with others. But it’s tricky to find that balance and know when you’re ready to really dive in and own it. 

As I’ve been fully present during this production process and absolutely loving it, I’ve found other artists and creatives to work with who also are passionate about what they do- reflecting my joy back to me. 

The amazing director of this video, Kira Bursky at All Around Artsy, shares a similar passion for the abstract- and this video would not have been possible without her. I feel like I’m finally starting to gather a team of people who share similar goals and love what they do, and that is making a huge difference for me. As artists, we tend to isolate ourselves and think that no one understands us. I felt that way for many, many years. But, as I’m starting to experience now, following my pure joy and passion without any expectation from others ironically connects me with others who are doing the same thing. So it all works.

Update June 2020 

The first video from my album will be for a song called “The Place Beyond.” This is actually the oldest song on the album- I wrote it around 2012. And it’s a little vague. A little magical. A little uneasy. Very much like these times. I didn’t write the song with a specific theme or message in mind, but I think it can apply to a lot of different things. 

For me, as a sensitive and an introvert, I’ve had resistance for a long time about being present and grounded and feeling my feelings. As current events have escalated, I’m seeing these feelings come up more and more. So I think wanting to escape is some of what this song is about. But even beyond that, I think what I’m really trying to get at is that there’s a greater perspective and a greater harmony available if we can tune into it. The chorus is “Sunsets on the Amazon, take me to the place beyond.” Somehow sunsets and sunrises- without any words or distinct shapes- always take us where we need to be. They bring us into a deeper part of ourselves that doesn’t need any of those external things. 

The next line “Marching where the mighty fall, in the jungles deep and tall,” for me, is an acknowledgement that we are in times that are scary and confusing enough to freak out even the bravest of people. And yet we keep going. Seeing what the next day holds. Sometimes living moment to moment or breath by breath. It’s all we can do. We never really could rely on the future, but now it’s unavoidable- the present moment is all there is. 

So that’s what this song is. An honest look into the vague uncertainties that have always made me uncomfortable. Maybe all it really needs is to be looked at.

The first video from my album will be for a song called “The Place Beyond.” This is actually the oldest song on the album- I wrote it around 2012. And it’s a little vague. A little magical. A little uneasy. Very much like these times. I didn’t write the song with a specific theme or message in mind, but I think it can apply to a lot of different things. 

For me, as a sensitive and an introvert, I’ve had resistance for a long time about being present and grounded and feeling my feelings. As current events have escalated, I’m seeing these feelings come up more and more. So I think wanting to escape is some of what this song is about. But even beyond that, I think what I’m really trying to get at is that there’s a greater perspective and a greater harmony available if we can tune into it. The chorus is “Sunsets on the Amazon, take me to the place beyond.” Somehow sunsets and sunrises- without any words or distinct shapes- always take us where we need to be. They bring us into a deeper part of ourselves that doesn’t need any of those external things. 

The next line “Marching where the mighty fall, in the jungles deep and tall,” for me, is an acknowledgement that we are in times that are scary and confusing enough to freak out even the bravest of people. And yet we keep going. Seeing what the next day holds. Sometimes living moment to moment or breath by breath. It’s all we can do. We never really could rely on the future, but now it’s unavoidable- the present moment is all there is.

So that’s what this song is. An honest look into the vague uncertainties that have always made me uncomfortable. Maybe all it really needs is to be looked at.